dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
