forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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