I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
