What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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