And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
As shirtless as possible
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
