Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you would pick up someone in the library
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
