Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
