i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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