I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
