yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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