In the future we'll all be gay
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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