bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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