Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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