butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
