I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
