Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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