We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Less talking, more tequila
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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