Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
