Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
