your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
