just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
