I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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