Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
