farters have to be the big spoon...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
