Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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