god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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