Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
