So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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