Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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