Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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