happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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