sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
there is puke in my bra ... again
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