it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
