Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
