It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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