He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
