just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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