yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so that wasnt chicken after all
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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