Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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