Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
