Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
