doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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