.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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