Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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