I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
