So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize