I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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