There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
