My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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