I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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