..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
