the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
