when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
