I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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