We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
