Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize