i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
