Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
