What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
