I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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