The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
