Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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