i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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