Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
