you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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