Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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